This is Mr Chowski, back with another report, live from the Resistance base’s newly discovered secret bunker! A huge thank you goes out to Maphira, who installed this place without anybody even knowing about it. A truly genius move!
Admittedly, we did have a bit of a scare for a second, even though we followed the instructions perfectly. We turned all the taps in the bathroom onto their hottest setting, but nothing happened. I should mention, though, that the bathroom is one of the best I’ve ever seen when it comes to bathroom shower design. So spacious! Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked. It turns out that turning the taps onto their hottest wasn’t actually what caused the secret entrance to open up. No, it was actually all the steam that soon built up in the bathroom that opened the way! So for a little while we weren’t sure it was going to work, as you can imagine.
I don’t know who Maphira got to complete these renovations, but my guess is that they are one of the best teams for bathroom and laundry renovations close to Melbourne. They’d have to be, because it was just a stunning bathroom in its own right, even without the elaborate secret exit.
Anyway, I’m getting a bit distracted again, because this broadcast is supposed to have an important message as part of it. I am here on behalf of Dr Con Dew Ratroti to tell every available member of the Resistance to prepare for battle. The Conclave is coming, and although we have our bunker as a last resort, we intend to fight back. If you are of fighting age, prepare for the battle of a lifetime. We must stand and fight for everything we believe in! There may come a day where the courage of the Resistance fails, but it is not this day! This day, we fight!
Well, technically this day you will fight. I’ll be in the bunker continuing this broadcast as the battle wages, but that’s beside the point.